Blessing to my brethern. Such encouragement floods my soul to simply read of others in the trenches with me. I seek help in understanding the best way to balance seeking relief thru the health professionals and just pressing in the spiritual realm. For example, two weeks ago I would wake up at 3 AM with such severe head, back, and muscle ach I had no doubt I was in a battle. I prayed thru, but this was not took several hours. This happened for several nights. The Lord did show me some rebilion, pride, and stubborness to deal with in the ones closest to me (and ofcourse myself, 1st). However, after loss of sleep and such racking pain I was quite broke down. Honestly, I'd have to say these similiar battles have been similiar and consist for the past year.



With a glad heart I desire to stay and be used as such. So I do not seek any relief from pain, stess, or emotional turmoil because I can not "take it". I simply sense the Lord is dealing with me to humble myself to receive reprieve. It may also help to understand that the strongman of mental illness is the toughest generational curse I see not pulled down in my life. Thus, the professional help most doctors send me to is the psychiatrist.



I do not want to be decieved or to be self deceived. I trust the Lord to guide and provide me in all my ways, however I hope to learn, decern, and breakthrough. This is most assuredly being hung up as was Gabriel to Daniel, so how do I take this to the next level. No, correction how do I open myself to allow the Lord to use me to take this to the next level.



Feel free to email me, repond on this forum, and/or ask any questions you think would be helpful. Yes and Amen.