hello-I'm new here, but had to respond to this old messgae--myhusband has only just recently been duiagnosed with bipolar, and he runs--right now he has been missing for almost 89 weeks--since dec. 13, 2002.



I need to hear from someone else who is going through this stuff. I AM WORRIED SICK THAT HE MIGHT BER DEAD--HE HAS NEVER BEEN GONE OVER 13 DAYS BEFORE.



will you respond--I need so much to hear from another, or those who also suffer from this--I need to understand, need to find him, nned HIM.

NO MATTER WHAT---FOR AS LONG AS IT TAKES, WHATEVER IT TAKES, I WILL FIND HIM. I LOVE HIM WITH ALL MYHEART AND SOUL. I WILL NEVER QUIT LOOKING FOR HIM UNTIL I FIND HIM.

please respond--anyone withthis experience, from iether side of it????

Thanks

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Replying to:

Sometimes, we get caught up in a vicious circle and we don't know how to break out of it. Alot of the time perception is where the problem lays. You said that you supported your wife during her crones flare ups and I am sure you do, I don't discredit your statement. Your wife's illness is something "tangible" that no one with any compassion would belittle her for. When someone suffers from a mental illness, suddenly its a whole new ball game. Have you ever sat down and talked to your wife about the trivial BS? It may not be trivial for her! You say she suffers from her own mental illnesses, could that play in a factor for her reaction to yours? To show how this can be so I did a little study on co-workers. I work in a factory and hardly ever with the same people twice. Some people I told that my husband had diabetes. We would talk about it and overall most people would be supportive and not have a problem being in a relationship with someone who has diabetes. Then others I told my husband has HIV. The immediate response was and you married him anyway!!! You knew about this before you married him!! Well your a better woman than I am because I could never be in a relationship with someone who has aids!! See perceptions play a huge role in how we react to life situations. What does mental illnesses do...they alter our perceptions. One of the things I suffer from is low self-esteem and depression. When any little thing goes wrong I have a tendency to take out the big ole emotionaal sledge hammer and beat myself up with it. I am ready to take the blame and be punished for my wrongs. With Cj one of the ways his mental illness manifest itself is that for no apparent reason at all he just makes a run. He just up and disappears. It freaks me out! My instant reaction is to automatically assume that he no longer wants anything to do with me and I have done something to drive him off. I never know for sure until he gets ready to contact me. When I express how much I get upset he is like well you should have known I'd be back! My reaction is how am I supposed to know this!! To him it is apart of what his illness drives him to do and he may consider it to be trivial BS, I should be supportive and understand he is just having an episode but I get traumatized everytime he has an episode. Why because everytime he has an episode I have one too. So think about it okay, remember everytime you have a manic episode it throws your wife into an episode based on her own mental illness. Your crisis might be over hers may not be. Is it fair to make her be on your emotional timeline?

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Replying to:

I have been deeking appropriate psychiatric diagnosis of and on for 11 years now, the time that I have known my wife. During three separate occasions the diagnosis came back AD/HD until the last full blown manic episode happened in Dec.




I have almost fully recovered from my episode, but my wife is still angry at me about trival B.S. She also suffers from mental illness, depression, and has beeen receiving Tx for a year and 1/2. She also has Chron's disease and I have been extremely supportive of her during these flare ups.




Why would someone choose only to look at 30 seconds of irrational behavior (no hitting, but I did restrain her from hitting me)and ignore 11 years of loyalty and devotion, from someone who has stood ny her during major crises for her.




I am I wrong, shouldn't she be helping me instead of saying get out of the house, and don't speak to me.




I am Nutz?

My Husband has been Bi Polar for 20yrs, he has grown worse as we have gone along and now he is rapid cycling and cuts him self off from everyone in a bid to get well. We have 3 young children and a beautiful home we struggled together for all these years to get where we are now, and I have always been there for him,We lost our business and became insolvent due to his illness I have been verbally abused,mentally tortured and even subjected to rape. But I still love him.There are times when I could happily walk away and who could blame me? not one person.I guess I am living in the hope that we will be able to stablize his illness and resume our lives together as a family,I just hope that day comes before the one when for my own sanity and that of the children I will have to walk away from my soulmate.It is an illness and those of us who are well can see that, its not bad behavior.