No problem, that's what we are here for. Drop me an email and keep me updated if you feel like it. Hope everything turns out ok.

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I have talked to Cj. things are going well. He will be calling soon. Thanks every esp andrea for your support and help.

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That's great that you know where he is, and that he is safe. You sound much better, but still a little confused.




I hope everything works out how you want it to. If he comes back to you, it was meant to be. Just keep that in mind.

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I know where CJ is!! I found out today when I got home from work. I still have not heard from him but through a resource I used to locate him. Needless to say the address I was given was a shocker!!! One of those what the devil kind of things. Like I said before, its not for me at this point of pointing my finger and whailing look what he has done to me... whaaaaa!!! Now I am trying to determine what I should be doing. I don't want to end up being a stalker or anything like that but I don't want to just say oh well his loss either. It is so confusing. Any way right now I am so happy I could just bust. I don't feel so helpless anymore now that I finally have a way of reaching him. I just want him to that he is loved and that I am not interested in fussing. He can take all the time he needs or wants for himself...I just want to know he is okay.

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You sound sooooo much better. Your head is in the right place. That's great.




And You're right. So many times, we make all these plans, and God bless our little minds, the almighty already has it all laid out for us. You know what they say about the best laid plans.




Well, try to think about the extra money, when your working the overtime. And if, the wedding happens, it was meant to be.




As for my better, or sometimes worse half, depending on the day, he likes to step as far out the door as he can without physically being out the door. (I think he had a backdoor installed in his mind). So thinking about being in a relationship in the terms that you put it, "physical prescence", that gives me something to think about.




Keep Smiling

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So many times we get hung up on what someone else is doing that we forget what being with that person is really all about. I put cj and my relationship with him in my higher powers hands along time ago. through this experience I find myself wanting to take control out of my higher power's (which for me is the belief that their is a God and I choose to follow his princaples outline in the bible) hands and handle the situation myself. i can't do that and not be depressed. So i am going through a defining period of what god would have me do concernig my relationship with Cj. does one require the presence of the other to even be in a relationship? Many would say hello, you can only be in a relationship if the other person is there to interact with you...duh. but I feel differently esp. in this case. I made a very strong bond with Cj, we have a wedding date set for nov 16. I know its hard to understand because i may never hear from him again. So i am defining what does god call me to do now? other than that i am doing good. mad at my boss because he set a stupid mandatory overtime schedual that creates a attendence problem for me and its causing an adverse work history record for me and he will not comprimse. but it doesn't stop me from doing my job to the best of my ability and i guess that is all that really matters. What am I responsible for and just because things are not going my way does that mean I have a right to shuck off my responsiblities. I don't think so.

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Just checking to see how you are holding up. I am the one who wrote the annonmous message, forgot to put my name in the it. OOOOPS. Sorry.




Your reply sounded like you were thinking in the right direction. How have you been doing with it? Have you heard anything yet? Email me if you would like.




My husband doesn't pick up his bags and walk out the door, but he goes out the door in his mond alot. He also has not been offically diagnosed but I suspect alot. I could use someone to talk to as well about this subject.




Let me know.




Andrea

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Thanks for the imput. I am trying to do just that, take care of myself. I have no choice but to focus on what I need to do for me. It doesn't stop me from worrying though. I am also doing things I feel would honor the love I have for Cj and for now I have to move on as if the relationship is over. I don't mean move on to another relationship because I am no where ready for that but self improvements and the such. I will be okay, I just gotta work through this.

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I can hear the desperation in your message. And, I know it can be hard to live with the isolation of depression, especially if the person who is suffering is a loved one.




You sound like a very caring and loving person. Maybe consider another angle. He is also a male. Men often times need time to regroup. Give him some time, allow him the space he needs. He might be keeping his distance to get the space he needs.




In the meantime, take some time for your self. Read a book. Get your mind off of him for awhile. Try not to focus on the relationship as much.




If he wants to break off the relationship, he will tell you eventually. If he doesn't, he will be back.




My husband clams up if I pressure him. It's just the way it is. If I bug him, I get nowhere. We women want answers right away often times, and men need time to think things through.




If he is a danger to himself, you need to get him some help. So be cautious about that. You mentioned you had an idea where he might be. Maybe you could coutiosly check around, to make sure he's ok, but give him his space.




But take some time for your self and get your mind off of the relationship for awhile.




Hope that helps.

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You know I really thought someone would have some kind of comment that would give me some insight as to cj behavior. HELP PLEASE! I AM AT A LOSS! MY SWEET HEART IS OUT THERE AND I DON'T KNOW IF HE IS ALRIGHT! YES I KNOW I AM SHOUTING! If one cannot discuss things with fellow group peers who can we go to. To get help and understanding. Some please talk this over with me, help me bounce off ideas and I am open to any suggestions. I am stepping into a new rhelm with the DID.