You're story really touched me. I was 18 when I had my first major mental health break down, I was in my senior year in the U.K. I'm 31 years old now, and although I've had a very bumpy ride over the last 13 years I'm married, I got an honours degree and I'm happier than I have been since I was a child. I just want to tell you that in my experience mental health issues tend to get easier to live with as you get older, so hang on Heather, there is a future for you where you will be at peace with yourself. I believe that the greatest remedy for depression or psychosis is to accept and love your self. I know it's easier said than done some times, but remember that you're suffering is meant to be, and when you emerge partially to a more bearable place your experiences and insights will make you all the richer in mind and soul than the "jocks" for whom everything seems to go with out a hitch. take care of your self and believe in your own worth, i've been there and I know you'll make it. Love, Ed.