Hi , I'm Ally , 28years old and I have two small kids - Oh and my husband left 9months ago .




My story starts 10years ago when , in hind sight , my symptoms started. At college I was drinking,smoking, lots of guys and lots of energy. That was when I attempted suicide. I was up and down all the time with my moods and my behavior towards myself and to others. One night it got to me and I spent the following week in the hospital.




The following 5 years were ok as long as life was stable and not to disjointed.




Five years ago my husbands and I had been married for 1year and we tried for a baby. After losing the first baby we didn't try for 18months. During that time I shrank into my own mind and became over independent and withdrew from my husband. The only time I said anything to him it normally ended in a fight and often with my lashing out at him in a violent way.




After my first son was born I was diagnosed with PND and put on Lovan. 12 weeks after that I was pregnant again


When my second son was born there was a plan inplace and all was OK as there was meds on hand and alot of support from my family and a change in meds to Effexor.




As the weeks went by I was becoming more and more erratic in my behavior towards my husband and my kids. The department was called because of some of the comments I had made about gassing myself and the kids so it was all over and they were with me till the end. I just couldn't take the whisk-feeling in my head anymore.


My husband and I were now at loggerheads. I went to the nut


house in the city for treatment for my behavior towards him and my suicidal thoughts. The fights were getting more frequent and more violent. I didn't want him to have the boys as I had become very possessive (and still am). I was put on Lithium for the bipolar which calmed me down heaps but by this time he had already gone.




Since then my boys and I have settled into a good life but I have had my Lithium and Effexor increased a few times to control my ups and downs !! I get therapy every week and with my support network things look brighter but they could have been very different.


The best thing I can say is ; get help if you think you can't control your thoughts,especially if they involve someone else.




I draw my strength from my boys to get better.


And I will get better for them.