hi whoever you are i didnt get your name your message made me laff i live in a basement of a house that has a fire place and all but the owner plays music he is a musicien i have a dog and fiding a place with a dog is a nono but i might get social lodging with the town and i can have my dog in the mean time i have to put up with a musician who plays rock and roll at nigh and i usually get up at 6 to go to work but im to chiken to hit the wall.ahah.just though i should tell you your not the only one whos got a problem but i think i will find another apartment one of these days.i think you might have some writings skills too.see you later nicky.

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Replying to:

When I was 16, I was diagnosed with social/general anxiety disorder and I took Paxil for a while. The Paxil put a stop to the anxiousness and helped me be more outgoing (plus stopped the occasional panic attacks), so I eventually got off the medication. I also stopped taking it because it made me feel somewhat ill, and I acted really weird when I forgot to take my daily dose. However, for the rest of high school, I was okay. I never got a part in that musical, but that wasn't MY fault! *lol*




Anyway, I'm in college now and living on campus. Big mistake. In my residence hall (primarily a freshman hall), the top activity is "getting drunk and acting stupid", followed closely by "being really loud and/or blaring hideous music at all hours". I don't drink and parties hold no interest for me. Just give me two or three close friends and a store to shop at and I'm good. Unfortunately, everybody in this dorm parties and I have no friends here. That's not a big problem, as I am meeting people in my classes and such. Besides, I still prefer being alone, though I do like talking to people now! The problem is that I've become a horrible, angry person over the past few months and frankly, it scares me. Recently, our neighbors must have found some boys to hang out with, because they're in their room every night, chatting away (loudly) and giggling until 4-5 AM. I have class at 8 AM. If I'm lucky, I'll get 4 hours of sleep. On Tuesday and Thursday when I have class at 12, I might get lucky and get to sleep in for a bit, that is, unless the neighbors decide to turn the telly or the radio on. Forget going to bed at 12 or even 11 PM- it's way too loud in the hall.




What scares me is I don't think it's really *that* loud. It has just irked me to the point where the tiniest noise or giggle sets me off. I get so angry at night when I'm trying to sleep and it's slightly noisy; I get totally enraged. I beat my fists on the wall (hurting myself afterwards). When I'm alone in my room, I throw and hit things. I have entertained thoughts of going to the offenders' room (whoever it may be) and stoving their heads in with a frying pan. If I had the frying pan, I'd probably do it.




I'm becoming bitter and rigid. I'm having panic attacks again. Worst of all, the everlasting anxiety is back. I used to be so easy-going and open minded. When I'm not on campus, I go back to normal. This is every weekend when I go home. I don't go home because I'm homesick, I just love being at home ...though here at the Uni, someone is automatically labeled "immature" because they like being around their family more than they like being around the drunken teens passed out on the residence hall stairs (I'm won't go into that issue right now!). My classes are really the only solace I have during the week- I truly adore them (even math)! Making matters worse, this is a tiny campus in a small town with nothing to do. I'm too scared to drive away because I'm so upset most of the time, I'm afraid I'll get into an accident.




Starting next semester, I plan on commuting back and forth to class and home. I hope that will solve most of my problems. For now, though... it's just a matter of seeing how long I can stay here without totally falling apart...how long I can surpress this murderous rage. I don't think I've ever been so stressed out in my life. I'm in physical pain. The anxiety is getting worse every day. Worse than anything I ever experienced at 16...and I don't want to go on medication again! Getting over the anxiety was such a positive step in my life, but now, everything seems to be reverting back. It just lasts and lasts all day, all night... I don't know how much more I can stand. Just writing about it helped a bit, though.




If anyone needs me, I think I'll be living in my car for the remainder of the semester...

I just have a few suggestions which may be helpful, I'm in a situation where I recently moved out of an apartment but now am renting in a facility which can be annoying to sleep at times. Buy some ear plugs, they're cheap and they work. Exercise works too to help your body get abalanced night of rest. Hang in there, I wish I was still in school like yourself, so try to be grateful for what you have.

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Replying to:

hi whoever you are i didnt get your name your message made me laff i live in a basement of a house that has a fire place and all but the owner plays music he is a musicien i have a dog and fiding a place with a dog is a nono but i might get social lodging with the town and i can have my dog in the mean time i have to put up with a musician who plays rock and roll at nigh and i usually get up at 6 to go to work but im to chiken to hit the wall.ahah.just though i should tell you your not the only one whos got a problem but i think i will find another apartment one of these days.i think you might have some writings skills too.see you later nicky.

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

Replying to:

When I was 16, I was diagnosed with social/general anxiety disorder and I took Paxil for a while. The Paxil put a stop to the anxiousness and helped me be more outgoing (plus stopped the occasional panic attacks), so I eventually got off the medication. I also stopped taking it because it made me feel somewhat ill, and I acted really weird when I forgot to take my daily dose. However, for the rest of high school, I was okay. I never got a part in that musical, but that wasn't MY fault! *lol*




Anyway, I'm in college now and living on campus. Big mistake. In my residence hall (primarily a freshman hall), the top activity is "getting drunk and acting stupid", followed closely by "being really loud and/or blaring hideous music at all hours". I don't drink and parties hold no interest for me. Just give me two or three close friends and a store to shop at and I'm good. Unfortunately, everybody in this dorm parties and I have no friends here. That's not a big problem, as I am meeting people in my classes and such. Besides, I still prefer being alone, though I do like talking to people now! The problem is that I've become a horrible, angry person over the past few months and frankly, it scares me. Recently, our neighbors must have found some boys to hang out with, because they're in their room every night, chatting away (loudly) and giggling until 4-5 AM. I have class at 8 AM. If I'm lucky, I'll get 4 hours of sleep. On Tuesday and Thursday when I have class at 12, I might get lucky and get to sleep in for a bit, that is, unless the neighbors decide to turn the telly or the radio on. Forget going to bed at 12 or even 11 PM- it's way too loud in the hall.




What scares me is I don't think it's really *that* loud. It has just irked me to the point where the tiniest noise or giggle sets me off. I get so angry at night when I'm trying to sleep and it's slightly noisy; I get totally enraged. I beat my fists on the wall (hurting myself afterwards). When I'm alone in my room, I throw and hit things. I have entertained thoughts of going to the offenders' room (whoever it may be) and stoving their heads in with a frying pan. If I had the frying pan, I'd probably do it.




I'm becoming bitter and rigid. I'm having panic attacks again. Worst of all, the everlasting anxiety is back. I used to be so easy-going and open minded. When I'm not on campus, I go back to normal. This is every weekend when I go home. I don't go home because I'm homesick, I just love being at home ...though here at the Uni, someone is automatically labeled "immature" because they like being around their family more than they like being around the drunken teens passed out on the residence hall stairs (I'm won't go into that issue right now!). My classes are really the only solace I have during the week- I truly adore them (even math)! Making matters worse, this is a tiny campus in a small town with nothing to do. I'm too scared to drive away because I'm so upset most of the time, I'm afraid I'll get into an accident.




Starting next semester, I plan on commuting back and forth to class and home. I hope that will solve most of my problems. For now, though... it's just a matter of seeing how long I can stay here without totally falling apart...how long I can surpress this murderous rage. I don't think I've ever been so stressed out in my life. I'm in physical pain. The anxiety is getting worse every day. Worse than anything I ever experienced at 16...and I don't want to go on medication again! Getting over the anxiety was such a positive step in my life, but now, everything seems to be reverting back. It just lasts and lasts all day, all night... I don't know how much more I can stand. Just writing about it helped a bit, though.




If anyone needs me, I think I'll be living in my car for the remainder of the semester...