Confessions of a Cat Breeder

I think some cats are just like that. I have one lovely female that loves to be petted,but not held on my lap--and all my other cats are all over me. Some are just more stand offish. All cats of the same breded are not really the same. Maybe he wasn't socialized enough as a baby or maybe he is just that way.


You could try to get him to be closer in very small doses. Like hold him in your lap for very short periods of time and brush him or give him treats while you are holding him to show him that it is pleasant,but lket him go when he squirms. Some cats are just different. I have found Persians to be the most affectionate and Himmies


'I am NOT a cat expert,but have a lot of them and this has been my experience. Kittens fromn the same litter and raised EXACTLY the same way are all different.

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Replying to:

Hi, I have been impressed by the thoughtful advice you have given others and thought you might help me too. I have a neutered male Ragdoll, Sam, who is a few months past a year old. We also have a dog (border collie), a 20 year old spayed female "alley" cat, and a 1 year old neutered Maine Coon, Buddy. Everyone gets along well (or at least tolerates) everybody else. The two young males, Sam and Buddy, are inseparable friends. My problem, if it can be called that, is that Sam is not what I had expected him to be - he does not display behavior/attitude typical of Ragdolls. He is not that outgoing and friendly to us (my husband and me - the only humans in the house). He likes to be scratched under his chin and ears and on his back at the base of his tail, but he won't tolerate being petted or stroked for long...he tolerates brushing/grooming, but I have to do him in sections....a little now, a little more later on. When we trim his nails, it takes the two of us and I can't always get all four feet done at the same time. He absolutely does not like to be picked up and although he doesn't fight or struggle to be put down, his legs stiffen and I know he is not happy. In general, I would have to say his behavior has improved slightly since we got Buddy. (I wonder if his seeing the attention and affection our Maine Coon gets has made him a bit more receptive to our overtures). We continue to touch him, scratch him, pet him, talk to him, sit on the floor at his level....all in an effort to "win him over". Is there anything more we can do to make a somewhat non-affectionate cat affectionate? I got him as a kitten to replace both the mother of our "old lady" who had died the year before and a 10 year old Maine Coon who had died suddenly and was the "love of my life". I specifically was intrigued with the description of the breed and wanted an affectionate cat who would respond to me in kind. I should add that he wants to be with us, just not "on top of us"...that is, he sleeps in a cat bed that is on the floor at the foot of our bed, whereas the other two cats sleep (at least part of the night) on the bed with us. He has, from time to time, sat on the ottoman next to my legs, but will not get in my lap - and if I reach out to touch him he jumps away. If I watch TV in bed, he'll lay down on the bed but stay out of arms reach...if he does get closer I dare not pet or scratch him because if I do he leaves! Do you have any thoughts you can share with me? Buddy is indeed a buddy, I just wish Sam were too.